Banks' worrying message

Funny story written by j.w.

Friday, 6 August 2010

image for Banks' worrying message
Ossie is a frightened bunny

As Bank after Bank declares how profitable they are and the economic recovery looks fairly certain the Coalition Government is becoming increasingly worried.

'What has become of the economic disaster left by the previous Government?' moaned Chancellor John Osborne 'without that excuse we are on shaky ground. All the cuts being made and on line could be seen as a big mistake.'

But Ken Clarke, in his homely bluff man of the people persona advised his close friend. 'Don't worry Ossie, my old mate. It is almost five years before another election. As things get better from now on we will get all the credit.'

'But what if things get worse, Ken? I might lose my job.'

'And what could be worse than that?' said a sympathetic Ken, putting an arm around poor Ossie's shoulder.

'But Ken, what would become of me. I'm pretty useless at this job so what will David do? I might end up on the back benches.'

'Don't be so pessimistic. You could take over from David. At the present rate David will be putting his foot in it once a week from here on in.'

'He does seem a bit accident prone.'

'In any case look at that so-called Opposition. They have a great chance to tell the country how well they have done but I could hear a pin drop!'

'Perhaps they like being out of Government. I wouldn't blame them. I'm having to work almost five days a week.'

'You should relax Ossie. Let the civil servants do the work. After all they get paid enough.'

'But they don't like me Ken. They think I am going to make them lose their jobs.'

'Well you are, old sport. It's them or us. We could have do their jobs as well as our own'

'Oh dear, what a dilemma.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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