Isle of Wight News - Greengrocers held up

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Greengrocers held up
Just some of the fruit and veg the evil doer got away with

In a novel twist on the mainland stories of banks held up by a banana, Turley's Greengrocers in Shanklin was held up on Tuesday by a man waving a menacing wad of cash.

"I was proper scared," said greengrover, Hurley Turley, 49 of Shanklin. "He came in brandishing what I thought was a gun at first, but turned out to be nearly a hundred quid in ten pound notes."

The raider that police are looking for is in his mid-twenties, a resident of Ventnor with blonde hair, a scruffy beard and goes byb the name of Trevor McEvily.

"We're not hopeful in finding this individual," said Police Constable Julia Sergeant. "The description is a little vague."

McEvily got away with nearly a hundred pounds worth of fruit and vegetables including a watermelon, three bunches of bananas, a sack of King Edward potatoes and an entire punnet of late season strawberries among other items, such as kiwi fruit and oranges.

"I'm afraid for my life," said Turley, 52 of Ventnor. "I daren't open my shop tomorrow."

Detective Julia Sergeant has a warning for other traders in the Shanklin area, especially On The Hoof butchers on Front Street: "He may strike again, and he will probably need some meat to go with all that veg. Unless he's a vegetarian of course."

Police recovered his weapon of cash which McEvily left at the scene before fleeing with his ill gotten gains.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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