A woman named Carol Jones has written a pamphlet in which she describes in intricate detail her trousers.
Over the course of the 32-pages, Carol tries to explain to the public why she wears such a silly pair of pants.
"When I married my husband, Chester, in 1841 we agreed that he would do the washing, cooking and cleaning and I would, in essence, wear the trousers in the relationship", she explains.
And what trousers they are: majestic, sail-like fabric that billows in the sweeping winds of the North coast, ornately decorated with fine stitching done by her husband - the trousers are a marvel to behold.
MC Hammer gave them his seal of approval.
Oink oink.
"I put my leg into them one at a time", Carol explains, "and they have numerous pockets for all sorts of useful things such as combs, pocket watches and fake beards".
Because of the large size of the fancy trousers, Carol has made adjustments to her vehicle so that she can get in and out more easily.
"I put gull-wings into my horse-drawn chariot. I am the envy of all", she said.
Oink oink.
Going to the toilet can be a problem for Carol. That is why she had a little resealable flap in her rumpy-pumpy.
"I am very good at squatting over a hole in the ground. As a matter of fact, that is how I met my husband", she writes.
Carol hopes that her trousers will be an inspiration to the community.
"I wear my trousers not just to protect my legs from frostbite or stinging nettles, but to inspire the community around me in their everyday lives", she cryptically added.
Carol has a 32 inch inside leg. This measurement was verified by a man.
She also wears fancy hats and is in the process of writing a pamphlet about that.
The 'Carol's Trousers' pamphlet is available free of charge at the local library and school.
Oink oink.
