Rowan Atkinson's "Gone Hollywood" Claims Neighbours

Funny story written by Charpa93

Saturday, 17 July 2010

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Rowan Atkinson, the famous English actor known for his Mr. Bean and Black Adder characters, is facing stiff complaints from his neighbours in Ipsden, Oxforshire, England for wanting to bulldoze a perfectly perfect 1930's cottage and build in its place a concrete "futuristic petrol station." In other words, a modern-design home.

The neighbours claim that the futuristic home would be an eyesore and would completely change the look and feel of this 7th century village. Atkinson argues that if, in fact, the cottage was only built in the 1930's, wouldn't that mean that the person before him who built the 1930's cottage was perhaps changing the look and feel of the 7th century village as well?

At any rate, the real issue here is not architecture but more the fact that many are saying that Atkinson has "gone Hollywood," and doesn't relate to his English counterparts as he should.

Agnes Abercrombie, the closest neighbour to Atkinson's property claims that she's heard wild partying and American music coming from the cottage on many a night. Dabney Cockstern, the only neighbour to respect Atkinson's decision claims that the missus Abercrombie drinks a lot and is telling a tall tale, especially since the cottage owned by Atkinson has been sitting empty since 2006.

"Well," said Agnes, "all I know is that my Mr. Abercrombie and I don't like this Atkinson fella waltzing in here with his American ways and turning our town into a Malibu Beach town. Not much chance of that missus Abercrombie. Ipsden is an idyllic rural town tucked in a corner of South Oxfordshire and is nowhere near any large body of water, save for the local duck pond.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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