Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

image for 'Mars Attacks!' blow-up doll of Chief Constable Sue Sim left at Raoul Moat shrine
Sue Sim captured on film minus the big hair and green eyeshadow

Northumbria - (RIP Mess): The effigy of Northumbria's temporary police boss bears an uncanny resemblance to the red cloaked alien from the 1996 comic science fiction movie.

"Except for the green eye shadow, of course," Rothbury local Mavis Clutchfeather said today.

"She is notorious for it - same as her love of Big Hair Lady Ultimate Hold hair spray.

"Shame about the Ratzingeresque cloak, though, already smeared with gratuitous lily pollen."

The doll has been left lying on top of a pile of wilting forget-me-knots and beladonna daisies at the entrance of a sewer used by Moat as his hideyhole from police.

Locals have dubbed it WPC Ack-Ack and placed a toy replica stun gun in the blow-up's hands.

Local Whitton beekeeper Mrs Lily Pollen is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Raoul Moat

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