The Reverend Ian Paisley surprised many commentators today when he revealed that he and Gerry Adams were firm friends.
"Gerry and I have often gone for a pint together after a hard day's negotiation," revealed the hard line Ulster loyalist, "just because we don't see eye to eye on political or indeed religious matters it doesn't mean that we can't be friends!"
"It's true," commented Sinn Fein stalwart Adams, putting his arm around the now frail Paisley "Ian and I have developed a very close relationship over the years. I see him almost as a father figure in some ways; always there with a word of advice or a guiding hand."
The two smiling men, arm in arm, were telling how saddened they were by the recent death of the Pope.
"I always had a lot of time for him," said Dr. Paisley wiping away tear, "Karel was always there for me at the end of the phone. As you all know I'm not one for all this papist mumbo jumbo but when you've spent the amount of time together around some of the clubs in Rome and Warsaw that me and that guy did! Well all I can say is I'll miss him!"
"I'll never forget that time in that lap-dancing club near the Ponte Duca D'Aosta." Smiled Adams. "You know Ian, along near Via Caprorati?"
"Oh yes!" laughed Mr Paisley. "How could I forget? I still don't know how a man that age could do that. I bet that girl's still got a smile on her face though!"
The two men smiled fondly at the memory but were soon brought back to reality when asked about Mr Adams latest indication that the IRA may disarm.
"I don't trust anything either he or the IRA say!" Stormed Mr Paisley. I won't rest until the Nationalist threat is obliterated! You hear me? Obliterated!"
"This is a genuine attempt at working towards a peaceful settlement." Yelled Mr Adams. "If you and your kind can't see that then there's no chance of any progress being made!"
"There's no point in arguing with you!" Spat Mr Paisley, jabbing a threatening finger towards Adams. "I'm off down the pub! I need a drink!" With that he left with Mr Adams shouting after the rapidly retreating figure "Get me a Guinness and whiskey chaser I'll see you down there!" Before adding as he grabbed his coat, "Well gentlemen, if that's all, I'm a busy man. I must get on."
