'Birds and Bees' replaced by 'Bees and Banks'

Funny story written by Jimbo123

Thursday, 8 July 2010

image for 'Birds and Bees' replaced by 'Bees and Banks'
"Houston - I'm preparing for re-entry"

Dating website S-Harmony claims "pairings are predetermined using a system of basic quantitative signals" - whatever that means.

Scientists, however, take a more prosaic view claiming men simply want looks and women want money or as anthropologists put it ...err money.

Therefore they have replaced the whimsical and romantic sounding 'birds and bees' with the more sober sounding 'bees and banks' as their euphemism for describing the mating game.

Dr Chesney von Hawkes commented - "Since the dissolution of the class system in 1997, men are the 'bees' and pollinate based on looks and smell. Luckily for Essex girls, bees can't hear."

"Women meanwhile are the banks. Ever noticed that when you're flush with cash, girls rock up? It's a biological instinct since they can't afford the £500 flip-flops they want or future baby food from Harrods."

However, a round of drinks or bunch of flowers won't woo the savvy princess. Like a bank she will conduct a rather unsettling interview about 'what you do' or 'what you have' to determine future cash prospects.

To close the sale the 'switched-on' man will need an exceptional 'blagger' friend on hand to verify he is an 'on call' astronaut - with just hours before he has to go into space to destroy an asteroid and save the earth. Job done.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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