Alleged psychopath Raoul Moat as been found on the summit of Tosser Hill in Northumbria with a Howitzer artilery gun and Justin Beiber. Many other weapons were also discovered including a Macmillan sniper rifle and a Patriot missile launcher on the back of his Lexus.
Police stated that there were only minutes to spare before he turned nearby picturesque Rothwell-on-Twee back to the smoldering wreck from wence it came.
Against predictions, Moat was taken alive but police were even more surprised to find teenage hard-throb Justin Beiber nearby safe and well.
Completely unharmed he stated "I've been friends with Raoul for ages on facebook - we're both into guns and steriods like most good Canadians."
"I didn't know he was on the run or anything but he asked me to help him pull some artilery up a hill and I just happened to be in Newcastle with my Hummer. It's only a 20 minute drive to where he was and I've got cushions to see where I'm going. I hope he hasn't hurt anyone."
