Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 28 June 2010

image for Brenda Song and Justin Bieber To Star In A Commercial For The New Candy Named Vuvuzela Balls
A photo of a melted Vuvuzela Ball. (Photo courtesy of Wynonna Judd).

MANHATTAN - Teen sensations Brenda Song and Justin Bieber have agreed to appear in a commercial for the new candy called Vuvuzela Balls.

The bite size sweet morsels taste a little bit like M&Ms except more chocolaty, shell-less, and a little bit noisier.

The candy was developed by Hans Von Stuppenhauser, a German candy confectioner who lives in Pittsburgh but who was born in a German Concentration Camp, Stalag 7713.

Von Stuppenhauser has been credited with inventing other candies such as Gummy Skunks, Jolly Farmer, Hot Damn Tamales, and Raisinets on A Stick.

In the commercial for Vuvuzela Balls, Brenda is shown wearing a tiny little bitty shocking pink bikini and Justin is shown wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs official swimsuit.

The happy teenage couple is walking along the beach at Pensacola, Florida. Suddenly Brenda comes upon a Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill Tar Ball. She bends down to pick it up thinking that it is a big chocolate ball.

Justin slaps her hand just as Brenda is about to put the damn tar ball in her mouth. He tells her not to eat it because it's a friggin tar ball and not an edible chocolate ball.

In the next scene Brenda and Justin are shown riding a golf cart along Pensacola Beach and passing out samples of Vuvuzela Balls to the scantily clad young teenage girls.

In other news. The rumor that Ellen DeGeneres is hoping that Sandra Bullock will kiss her on the mouth next are reportedly not true. However, the rumor that Ellen's wife, Portia De Rossi is hoping that Sandra kisses her on the mouth have in fact been substantiated.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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