Polls suggesting that the LibDems have lost a lot of support for rethinking their policy on VAT have been dismissed as inconsistent by a Party official.
'How can anyone support us in one month and turn on us the next? I have heard of people changing their minds but this is barefaced hypocrisy.'
Longterm Liberal supporters in Cornwall have decided to stop cooking Pasties and will from now on be producing cup cakes. 'For years we have followed the tradition of cooking Pasties, but now we have realised that, due to the mess Labour made on the streets of Falmouth, the world is coming to an end. We are not afraid of change - we want to eat something else.'
Deputy Prime Minister and strong advocate of the Coalition Government, Nick Clegg said the scare over the line he has taken over the VAT issue was due to a misunderstanding. Both the LibDems and the Conservatives had made an unfortunate error. They both stated before the election that they had no plans to increase VAT but mistakenly both their statements which were meant say 'we have plans to increase VAT' had, by a strange coincidence, included the word 'no'. 'It was an easy mistake to make' he pleaded.
Meanwhile Labour supporters have been encouraged by the Lib Dem slump. 'They should have joined with us instead of going with the Tories' declared former Chancellor Alistair Darling 'we would never have increased VAT. You know this because we said so. The Lib Dem volte face is a sign of weakness. All this stuff about a typograhical error is so much hat air. They know we are the future - even though the future will take some time to come.'
PM David Cameron, dancing cheek to cheek in the American fashion, is trying not to smile. He has issued a statement saying he supports Nick Clegg in his hour of need. 'He's a brave man. He should change his mind more often and agree now to become England's new football manager.'