Breaking News - Late last night the Labour leader Gordon Brown was hatching grand plans to pre-empt the conservatives and form the next government.
This follows Scotland's First Minister, SNP leader Alex Salmond, call on the Lib Dems to join a "progressive alliance" involving Labour, the SNP (Scottish nationalists) and Plaid Cymru (Welsh nationlists) .
Detailed negotiations are still in progress but the likely outcome of such a coalition would be to split England into two and rename it South Scotland and East Wales.
The expected policies will include the training of all English school children in dyslexia so they can spell the Welsh language. It is also understood that the SNP will make Kilts available on the NHS.
