Westminster commentators were delighted with the turnout at the constituency of Much Fiddling in the Marsh, which broke the all-time record.
125% of the electorate voted with the Conservative candidate, Ben Fiddling, who won with a majority of 7,553.
Speaking after the results were announced, the returning officer said, "we are delighted that so many people managed to vote, in spite of the queues."
When asked about possible fraud, the returning officer replied, "the system is absolutely infallible. It is impossible for people to vote multiple times or for people to vote who are not on our list."
Our reporter pointed out that children had been seen voting and that photocopied ballot papers were being handed out in the market square, but the returning officer said, "it's all lies from our rivals who do not believe that the electorate here in Much Fiddling are positively involved in the electoral process."
"We are a model for all other constituencies."
"Come and have a look at our incentives to vote and take away ideas for elsewhere."
Rumours of advice from China were strongly denied,
