Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were last night planning to storm the headquarters of a famous international fast food chain, after SuBo almost choked on one of their burgers.
"This is outrageous!" grumbled a fanatic. "They almost killed our 'Lady' Susan. It was clearly a deliberate act."
"They must have given her a killer burger," moaned another fanatic. "It was clearly a deliberate act to keep her from the top of the record charts."
"Why was she eating a burger anyway?" asked yet another fanatic. "She only eats fish&chips and drinks lemonade. Maybe an occasional Irn Bru, but a burger? What was she thinking?"
"How dare she nearly choke like this?" fumed another fanatic. "Who would I live my life vicariously through if she had not recovered?"
"The burger clearly hadn't been blessed," said a couple of fanatics praying. "A blessed burger would never have tried to kill her!"
"I didn't know they had this restaurant in Scotland?" said a confused fanatic. "In fact, I didn't know they eat anything except haggis?"
Fanatics are expected to boycott the chain. "Any fanatic seen frequenting one of their establishments will be banned," said the chief fanatics, collectively known as KRaP. Fanatics are also starting another collection to buy her yet more flowers.
