Manchester - (YouBoob!): Be-cellulited topless fire-eater Tia Brodie wowed the judges last night with her black nipple-patched wobbly implants.
How the 33 year-old ex-porn star managed to blag her way onto the UK's most pointless freakshow is a whopping great big mystery.
Some reckon it was already bad enough when BGT packaged up lardarse Susan Boil-on-the-Bum as the nation's new singing diva sensation.
Now one thing is certain.
The stench of paraffin oil that made stunt whorse Allie dump that ten-pounder on stage was sweet in comparison to the stink being raised by the show's blatant breach of pre-9pm nudity watershed rules.
"All wholesome family-oriented stuff!" sources close to the show's producers chuckled today.
Simon Cowell is 69.