One Show Presenter Ordered to Cover Up

Written by Earl Grey

Sunday, 18 April 2010

image for One Show Presenter Ordered to Cover Up
Put a bag over it Adrian!

Following thousands of complaints from viewers One Show presenter Adrian Chiles has been ordered to wear a paper bag over his head in future.

Chiles, famous for his miserable demeanor and being a West Brom fan (the two are connected), was taking it in his stride last night.

"I will present the One Show wearing anything they tell me to, just as long as I get to sit next to Christine. I have to sit next to Christine. What's Frank Lampard got that I haven't got? You tell me! Can he move effortlessly from a story about leprosy in a Manchester school to a story about a parrot that can play the guitar? No he bloody well can't."

The BBC said in an official statement that it had to respect the wishes of the majority of its viewers.

"The BBC recognises that at 7pm some people might be having their tea. Further, small children might also catch a glimpse of Mr Chiles. Therefore we have taken the decision to order a cover up of Adrian Chiles' face. It was either that or move the show to a much later slot."

Christine Bleakley was unavailable for comment last night, but Frank Lampard said "Yes! Oh yes!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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