The Tories received a major boost today when another leading business figure endorsed their economic policies.
Investment mogul Bernie Madoff said that he was "awed and amazed" by their "innovative approach to finance. Saving money that isn't there and then spending it three times over. I wish I had thought of that one." In a rare interview at his secluded and heavily guarded "temporary retirement home" in North Carolina, Mr Madoff expressed his "unqualified admiration" for Tory leader David Scameron. "He's my kind of guy - a real mover."
Madoff's remarks drew a furious response from Lord Mankison of Fartlepool and Hoy, Labour's First Septictank of State. "Madoff has been suckered by a phoney public school slicker and his Poncey scheme."
Corrections and apologies: in an earlier paragraph we inadvertently gave the name of the Tory leader as David Scameron. This should of course have read Dave. And in a previous report we referred to the Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer as Sharon Osborne. This should of course have read "Osbourne".