London - (I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! Mess): The lardarse comedienne apparently went bananas after just one whiff of SuBo's pheromones turned 25 years' conjugal fidelity into a Last Tango In Paris dirty weekend.
And in a statement issued by his divorce attorney Lenny Henry said he'd often suspected his Missus must be a dyke because blokes are like that when they've been dumped in public.
The comedian/actor and his corpulent spouse had been TV's golden couple for so long nobody had actually noticed that Dawn had almost trebled in size and begun sprouting a wiry red mustache.
Her extramarital fling with Susan Boyle shattered Henry's proud manhood - now, sadly, almost entirely dependant on those little blue pills and a nightly bottle of Jamesons.
Divorce proceedings are expected to start next week.
