Essex Repo Man goes after Arizona's London Bridge

Funny story written by Wumf

Monday, 1 March 2010

image for Essex Repo Man goes after Arizona's London Bridge
Arizona has offered the Brooklyn Bridge as an alternative

In a sad turn for the state of Arizona; their beloved London Bridge is set to be hooked up and towed back to its place on the Thames River, London.

With the real estate market downturn the owners just weren't able to keep up the mortgage payments and have become subject to forfeiture reclaimance concerning the ancient landmark.

Local sheriffs may be called on to "stand-by" in case things get heated during the few minutes necessary to chain up the bridge, put some temporary wheel dollies under its center and start the long drive back on Highway 40 to the United Kingdom.

The American owners seem to have taken good care of the bridge, affording it regular washes and waxes and even touching up scratches using the original paint color (Tudor Brown).

Plans are already in place to dynamite the newer existing bridge over the English river, making room for the original structure.

London City authorities have chosen to blow up the Millennium Dome at the same time in order to save a few pounds on explosives, thereby making room for the new "Cavalcade of Belgian Stars of the Opera" building to be erected in its place.

The cavalcade is predicted to cost between 100 and 600 billion pounds and should pay for itself within two to three years.

Funds for the building will be gained by selling confiscated Leprechaun gold.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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