A huge wave of apathy has swept across most of Britain today. It started in the early hours this morning when James Deakins of Hastings couldn't be arsed to get up for work.
The wave quickly swept across southern Britain with a million people throwing an impromptu sickie. Many trains and buses were bought to a standstill as the normally work conscious drivers decided they couldn't give a shit.
Parliament was suspended as many MP's decided to take the day off and hang themselves. MP for North Chillblanes Roger Pethrington said "I really could not give a fuck about anything anymore. Since I have been unable to claim for porn and crack my life has turned into a complete malaise".
The wave continued through the Midlands were the normally industrious brummie decided it was too much of an effort to produce any more industrial effluence.
The wave reached Northern England by lunchtime were the effects of the apathy were not quite as evident. By the time it reached Scotland no visible signs remained as the Scots do not give a shit about anything or anyone already.