It has been revealed today that a Junkie has been found living inside someone's gas meter. The Junkie was found on Tuesday after a client complained to the company about the fact that she had been experiencing unusually high gas bills.
The gas engineer went out to see what the problem was, and when he opened up the gas meter, out popped a junkie. The gas man revealed that this isn't the first time this has happened.
He revealed that his company first started receiving complaints about high gas bills two years ago. Gas prices suddenly shot up and no one could afford to pay their bills anymore. No one could figure out what the problem was until an old lady from Kirkintilloch commented that trying to keep her house warm was like trying to keep a junkie supplied with heroin.
It was then that the gasman knew what had happened. He opened up the old lady's gas meter and there he was. He was all happy inside the gas pipe inhaling the gas and preventing it from going into the old lady's heating supply.
As from next Tuesday a nationwide inspection is going to be made of all gas supplies. Brit Gas say their aim is to rid the world of junkies who think its fine to go live inside other peoples gas meters. They suspect that there could be a junkie inside as many as one in three gas meters.
The president of Windyfarm Gas supplies however, says he doesn't believe in gas junkies. He says its just a story that has been made up by evil Brit gas to defend their horrendously high gas prices.
"They're trying to blame the gas junkies for the fact that grannies are freezing to death because of their high gas prices" He said "But its not. They don't exist. Brit gas are just greedy monsters who want all the money they can get. Whereas Windyfarm gas is great. Our prices are great Go buy some great Windyfarm gas today"
We got the impression that Mr Windyfarm was using our concern for grannies to sell his own gas, so the interview was terminated.
By Katarina Frogpond.
