TV Reject Ollie Murs Moves Into Homeless Shelter

Funny story written by Aisubeki Akiudo

Monday, 14 December 2009

image for TV Reject Ollie Murs Moves Into Homeless Shelter
Ollie, not feeling all too jolly.

(Defecated News) X Factor reject and 'bloke-with-rubber-legs Ollie Murs has vowed never to return home after his loss in the finale of the show on Sunday.

Friends have reported Ollie as living in the grassy patch in Albert Square, and have seen him 'eating out of bins, smoking discarded cigarette ends, and pissing his pants while sleeping on a bench.

Mr Murs was, however, convince by friends last night to move into a homeless shelter next door to Walford Station, but this move resulted in Murs fighting with another vagabond, and Murs being given a verbal warning.

Shelter manager Benny Hyman told me,

"Mr Murs has agreed to improve his behaviour following the brawl. He was provoked by another guest who described him as a rubber-legged Essex boy, and Ollie spat in his face and screamed at him like a hyena. Things have settled down now, and we hope for a peaceful night for all tonight."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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