Kate McCann tests DNA positive for Susan Greenfield's daughter

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 14 January 2010

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Gotcha, Susan!

London - (Gonads): The Rothley GP has brushed aside reports that ousted Royal Institution director Barrenness (sic) Greenfield is her birth mother.

"That's about as daft as rumors that Gerry McCann is Gorgon Brown's son, haha," spokesman Clarence 'House' Mitchell twittered today.

However files released under the UK's Freedom of Disinformation Act show DNA swabs 'tested positive' by National Poisons Unit geneticists in 1999.

Greenfield is having none of it of course.

Currently she is briefing lawyers in a sex discrimination lawsuit about her unceremonious booting out by RI trustees.

Institution council members dumped the toothy New Labour peer after she went on a 'needless and self-serving' £22 million refurbishment rampage of its splendid Mayfair HQ.

The ruinous binge-out on publicly donated money has left one of the nation's premier scientific charities teetering on the verge of bankruptcy.

Her sacking followed months of Institution grandees' disgust at Greenfield's self-promotion zealotry.

The lawsuit demands £20 million for lost future earnings, another twenty mill for 'damage to reputation' and a new job running a proposed multi-billion dollar Climate Change Advisory Body sinecure.

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