London - (Sky At Night): Myleene Klass (sic) has been tipped to replace hapless Barrenness (sic) Greenfield as the next CEO of the Royal Institution.
The controversial knife-wielding burglar-defier and keen amateur astronomer is half scraggy-arsed Greenfield's age - "and unlikely to frighten small children with her reindeer-esque buck teeth" - according to an RI PR statement.
Trustees voted overwhelming today to replace old sourpuss Greenfield after consulting an anagrams ouija board last weekend.
This came up with Sly Semen Leak/Sly Elk Enemas/Sell Yak Semen for the lovely Myleene.
"And Self Endearing Su/Endangers US Life/Sneering Fuel Ads for the old gorgon Greenfield," Prof Sir Roger Gusset GCMG chuckled today.
"No brainer, really!"
Klass, 31, will take up the part-time job of Curator early next month after completing her astrophysics degree at the Open University.
Susan Greenfield meanwhile is fighting off a redundancy notice on sex discrimination issues.
"She should just shut up her big fat self-promoting gob," Gusset added sweetly, "and rejoin her alma mater the Bermuda Triangle Tin Foil Hatters Association, heheheh."
Klass is also tipped to take over from Sir Patrick Moore as the BBC's Sky At Night presenter from next year.
