Written by Skoob1999

Monday, 21 December 2009

image for Mark Hughes Takes Shelf-Stacking Job At Tesco
That Weird Building In Manchester Where Gary Neville's Brother Lives - Allegedly

Unconfirmed reports here in the UK appear to suggest that recently deposed Manchester City manager, Mark Hughes, has accepted a £6.50 an hour temporary contract to be a night shift shelf stacker at a local Tesco Extra store.

Hughes, a former Manchester United legend who also played for Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Chelsea, before retirement and went on to manage Blackburn Rovers and the Welsh national team before taking the City job, was said to be keen to keep his hand in on the work front in these uncertain times of recession. Despite receiving a 'golden handshag' reportedly worth a few mil, by Arab owner Sheikh Mansour.

Having spent in excess of £200 million at City, and flopping badly, Hughes was said to be 'relishing the challenge' of surviving on £6.50 an hour. A spokesman told us:

"That's me out of here. There ain't much percentage for me in £6.50 an hour. I'd struggle to buy tinned soup on that."

Store Manager, Stuttering Steve, told us:

"Hughsie is a great acquisition for the store. His tactical nous is second to none. We'll probably have him stacking cheeses and frozen legs of lamb. And occasionally humping the beer about because he's a big powerful bloke. We'll freeze him out of the Sunday League Soccer team though. Because, let's be honest here, he is a bit of a smart arse."

United fan, Jarbo The Killer, told us:

"This is what happens when you bump heads with United. No matter how revered you may have been, you'll eat shit eventually. I'll go Tesco early in the morning to laugh at him. If I manage to get up. I reckon I'll buy some cheese, a frozen leg of lamb, and a case of beer. And then complain to the Store Manager. For the sheer hell of it."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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