Clegg's 'Assassination Attempt'

Funny story written by Cardboardarmour1

Tuesday, 17 November 2009


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Nick Clegg, Lib Dem leader by day and Hit-Man by night (The Yellow Reaper) has been accused of putting together plans to 'Wipe Queenie off the map'.

According to the aforementioned insider, Clegg has been in talks with a member of British Royalty with 'ears like coasters' about removing the Queen before her upcoming address to Parliament.

Clegg has spoken with the BBC condemning the Queen's speech, however, question marks are held over the reason for the criticism.

Clegg was overheard by a Liberal Democrat employee earlier in the week claiming that 'it's harder to rub her out' when 'it's not just my AK pointing at her, but twenty fakin' cameras as well'.

The accusation is that Charles has asked the 'Yellow Reaper' to speed up his ascension to the Throne - something that Charles furiously denies: 'Have you seen her wrinkles? It's not long before she pops her clogs! Furthermore, family members have used the 'Yellow Reaper's' services before - he just can't do the job properly!'

Clegg also strongly denies any accusations, claiming that any contact with Royalty is purely to do his 'political service to the counrty'. However, he also states that 'now I can't rip off the expenses system, I've been left with no other choice but to explore other means of income'.

The accusations continue.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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