The Queen Must Die! Nick Clegg's spooky prophecy

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 16 November 2009


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for The Queen Must Die! Nick Clegg's spooky prophecy
Expect a modern twist on the Gunpowder Plot says Clegg

London - (Rotten Fruit): An emergency coup d'etat will see the cancellation of the Queen's Peach on Wednesday.

The prediction comes from self-confessed shagger of 'no more than 30 women' cum-Lib/Dem mouthpiece Nick C Legg-Over, 69.

"All the signs and portents point to a massive dawn raid by the fraud squad," Leggover commented.

"It's time the Grim Reaper kicked Mrs Ratzinger out of the Puppet Palace," the MP added.

"Flog off a few of those treasured possessions and we'll have ourselves a bloody great big pay rise!"

Clegg's prophecy has sent alarm bells ringing in Buckingham Palace's soothsaying division.

Traditionally puppet monarchy arselickers commemorate November 18th because of the 1686 lancing of the King Louis XIV of France's anal fistula by smalltime Parisian surgeon Charles Francois Felix.

Felix is accredited with experimenting on dozens of un-anaesthetised French peasants before being allowed up Louis XIV's own arse.

"Yep, the Palace of Westmonster is itself a giant anal fistula on the Queen's backside!" proctology sources explained today.

November 18 is also the 80th anniversary of the Grand Banks earthquake which spawned the modern chimaera of the Northern Crock Bank, RBS and Lemon Brothers.

Goldman Sax is onto a winner.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more