The Queen Must Die! Nick Clegg's spooky prophecy

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 16 November 2009

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Expect a modern twist on the Gunpowder Plot says Clegg

London - (Rotten Fruit): An emergency coup d'etat will see the cancellation of the Queen's Peach on Wednesday.

The prediction comes from self-confessed shagger of 'no more than 30 women' cum-Lib/Dem mouthpiece Nick C Legg-Over, 69.

"All the signs and portents point to a massive dawn raid by the fraud squad," Leggover commented.

"It's time the Grim Reaper kicked Mrs Ratzinger out of the Puppet Palace," the MP added.

"Flog off a few of those treasured possessions and we'll have ourselves a bloody great big pay rise!"

Clegg's prophecy has sent alarm bells ringing in Buckingham Palace's soothsaying division.

Traditionally puppet monarchy arselickers commemorate November 18th because of the 1686 lancing of the King Louis XIV of France's anal fistula by smalltime Parisian surgeon Charles Francois Felix.

Felix is accredited with experimenting on dozens of un-anaesthetised French peasants before being allowed up Louis XIV's own arse.

"Yep, the Palace of Westmonster is itself a giant anal fistula on the Queen's backside!" proctology sources explained today.

November 18 is also the 80th anniversary of the Grand Banks earthquake which spawned the modern chimaera of the Northern Crock Bank, RBS and Lemon Brothers.

Goldman Sax is onto a winner.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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