A state of emergency has been declared in the county of Norfolk after a 30 foot infant run amok in Norwich city centre, smashing buildings and sucking on parked cars.
The origins of the gigantic baby are unknown and it has so far evaded capture. In an attempt to subdue the infant, several gigantic rusks laced with Calpol were flown in especially from Farley's. The Rusks were left untouched.
The Mayor of Norwich, Denzil Peabody, provided us with this sometimes tearful and wholly heart wrenching statement; "At 3am this morning an oversized toddler roamed freely through the streets of our glorious city. The Anglia Square Shopping Centre is gone, Norwich cathedral is no more, but worst of all the Hollywood Cinemas complex has been completely decimated."
Gordon Brown this morning to a hushed crowd of onlookers pledged the £17.85 in emergency aid required to rebuild the city of Norwich and in a shocking move will withdraw all overseas troops and bring them back to the UK to hunt down and destroy the nappy wearing colossus.
The NSPCC really don't know which way they should go on this one and are staying the hell away.
If you live in the Norwich area and have noticed a 30 foot infant then we would be very interested to hear what you have to say. You can contact us on text via some random numbers of your choosing.