Fife, Scotland - (Drainspotting): 'A skag addict with a dose of the clap? Of course Social Services pounced on her soon as the twin boys were spawned!'
That seems to be the gist of an LA FagHagSlagMag feature this weekend giving a blowjob by blowjob account of Kate Middleton's first year at Uni.
Apparently one drunken freshers weekend at a St Salvator's College Raisin Weekend orgy saw Kate get up the duff without so much as a how's-yer-father.
The boys, born nine months later, were hurriedly dispatched to foster carers before Middleton could so much as thrust a lactating boob into their teensy one-day-old mouths.
And within one month both had been adopted by a Edinburgh couple who have since emigrated to New Zealand.
"Of course they'll never be royal," a St Andrews University student union source commentrd today, "but they sure have a better chance of it than their natural birth mother ever will."
