In a startling development today, Kate Middleton, heretofore suspected by some of being a hologram rather than a person, called a press conference during which she told William, Lord Prince of All He Surveys, to buzz off.
"I mean to say," she said, shaking with anger, "It's damned enough. What....eight lousy years of living like a shadow...big deal...what did I get out of it except trouble?"
Turning raged-filled eyes to the assorted press she snarled "What did I get out of it? We went to a movie once...and I think twice to dinner and for what? So I can stand on a balcony once every five years and have a picture taken with his weird family? And that's if he can make his pea brain up. I can take my own damned pictures, thank you very much for nothing, you prat," she continued. "And I'd be too damn old to stand up anyway."
Miss Middleton concluded by saying "He can take his royal ass and set it on fire for all I care. I'm outta here."
