GM Eggs will prevent a smashing good time

Written by General Payne

Saturday, 24 October 2009

image for GM Eggs will prevent a smashing good time

Leading Supermarket retailer Morrisainscoda are selling Genetically Modified eggs produced by chickens that have been invested with a tortoise shell producing gene in a direct challenge to environmentalists who fear that so called Frankenstein food will herald the beginning of the end of the world.

Morrisainscoda Technical Director Penny Wise claims that the new eggs are better for the environment. Miss Wise told reporters yesterday that almost one third of all food produced is thrown away as a result of damage or going out of date. This leads to over production which damages the environment. One way that Morrisainscoda have been able to reduce this is through eggs she said.

Around 25% of eggs are thrown away because they get broken. By the time they are collected, sorted and transported to the shops often up to 15% of the eggs are damaged. Handling by customers and transporting to the home increases this by further 10%. The tortoise gene means that the egg shells are much stronger and less waste is produced. Production, packaging and transportation is reduced and there is less to go to landfill. It all adds up to a great benefit for the environment.

Friends of the earth spokeswoman Carrie More said that the mixing of genetic material is inherently dangerous. Food and animal technologists are playing God. She also said that Miss Wise is wrong. The shells are so hard that they will take up to 100 years before they bio-degrade and there will be an increase in other waste such as broken frying pans.

In response Miss Wise said that the shells can be used as sub base materials for building projects. People can have a special bin for egg shells and then sell the product to McAlpine turning a waste product into cash.

When asked how sales of the Tortoise shell eggs were going she replied....Slow !

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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