Westminster [LONDON]: The shock news that the Labour party is going to disband for good after the next election, has been met with the following announcements. Gordon Brown shouted the news to his whips at the House of Commons, with the decree, "If I am going to lose the next election, the Labour Party might as well come down with me! I've done my best by calling a life long Labour supporter a 'bigot'. Surely that will put a final nail in the coffin."
Lord Mandelson later commanded, "Yes this is the right decision, as I will be working at the EU after the election. The House of Commons has nearly been dereft of all its powers, so there is no point in the Labour party existing any more. The plan has always been to destroy Britain as a nation and I think that it is only right now that we have succeeded to announce the destruction of the Labour Party too."
Always one to comment on these matters, Arthur Scargill then made the announcement that he agreed with the end of the Labour Party.
Tony Benn said "It is a proud day that the Labour Party is no more!"
Tony Blair, "As I was proud to lead Labour in the final three terms. Education, Education, Education!"
Denis Healey, "Thank heavens the Labour Party is finished for good."
Jacqui Smith, "Good, at least now I can watch those porn videos with my husband now, without the Labour Party getting involved!"
Neil Kinnock, "I was always a windbag, for that matter I am so proud, in which I played a major role, subsequently to be found alright, therefore, the Labour Party will end on a low point."
