Santa Catalina CA: California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has sold a two square mile corner of Santa Catalina Island to a group of extreme environmentalists for $42 billion. This amount exactly equals the state's current budget deficit.
An interview with the leader of the group indicated that the governor had to "arm wrestle" the mayor of Los Angeles into an agreement to cede part of the island. The plan is to set up the Environmental Republic of Gaia (Greek Earth Goddess), which will be a global warming free zone. This new municipality welcomes any person regardless of race, color, religion, gender, and sexual preference, but all must follow the same environmental rules.
The group's intent is to subsist on fish, abalone, eels and seals. For this reason various animal rights groups have been hesitant to endorse the project. There will be no: plastics (including boobs and condoms); domesticated land animals; potentially toxic substances (paint, glue, whiskey); nuclear, coal or oil fired generation of electricity; Mercury light bulbs (Mercury is allowed in fish only); and toiletries (toilet paper, deodorant, shampoo, soap).
As an act of faith all participants will row the 22 miles, on rafts, from Los Angeles to the island. The environmental faithful can eventually be recognized by long hair and a distinctive fishy smell. Please don't shake their hands! The US Coast Guard is standing by to keep an eye on them, to prevent any cannibalism from occurring.
If God is ever proven to have a sense of humor, it will be because she made human beings like the fruits and nuts portrayed in this story.
