It can finally be revealed that Prince Charles and Carole Middleton are lovers . Her unfortunate origins, while keeping them apart in a legal sense, have not stopped them from getting together in a real sense.
"Yes, it is true," Camilla Parker-Bowles Windsor Mountbatten, Duchess of Cornwall, Rothesay and Countess of a few other places sobbed today. Admitting that there had been three people in her marriage, she told this reporter that she had been used, most egregiously, as a smokescreen for the Prince's real love, his lodestone, his shining star...Carole, doyenne of paper plates and coordinating napkins.
This will unavoidably be seen by the unkind as a pattern with the Prince, who was unfortunately unavailable for comment.
Kate and Wills were understood to be happy that the truth can now be admitted; they are half-brother and sister and have maintained their charade courtship as a favor to their parents. Wills can now look to whatever princess of Europe are left for a bride while Kate can heave a sigh of relief and get back to doing whatever she does.