Police were searching for Spoof editor Mark Lowton tonight amidst fears that he was planning to carry out a chemical attack on the United Kingdom.
Inspector Robin Jackman said "We believe that this man is intent on causing millions to suffer. We have suspected that he was up to something for some time. He was seen at the local shop buying two dozen eggs and enough Sarson's to fill fifty jars. Do not approach him as he is highly toxic."
Environmental activists were warning of catastrophic events should Lowton carry out his threat to "let 'em loose in about a month". The ice in the Arctic may be weeping, but this will be nothing to the tears this fiend will cause. There may be just one month left for all of us. All life on earth could be snuffed out with just one raise of a cheek.
Lowton has not made a ransom demand to the world's leaders, and his motives are as yet unknown.
As the story unfolds further updates are expected.
