Ballybollox Castle - (Rioters): A shape shitting (sic) 'Little Boy' flying saucer much like the 1945 Enola Gay B-29 Superfortress bomber has been seen stalking the hoaxer Queen's summer bivouac at Balimmoral.
Worried courtiers reported the craft amid fears it might target a lethal pulsed laser beam straight into HM's private quarters.
"Think 'laser pubic hair removal' technology only with attitude," the Lord High Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon commented today.
But MoD sources have dismissed suggestions that the craft may be planning to nuke Mrs Joseph Ratzinger and her retinue on 6 August.
The date coincides with the 64th anniversary of the obliteration of Hiroshima.
