The Met Office has issued an apology and retracted its long term forecast for the much heralded warm, dry summer, published earlier this year.
The unprecedented move follows several weeks of persistently wet weather which has ruled out the possibility of a hosepipe ban. It is believed that it soon became apparent to senior forecasters that the long term forecast of above average temperatures and below average rainfall for the majority of the UK was inaccurate when rain began to fall everywhere and did not stop.
"We apologise for misleading the public for the earlier long term forecast," a spokesman said last night. "We fucked up and fucked up big time."
"Long term predictions are very very difficult to make with a high degree of accuracy, as this has shown. In instances like this it is best to hold your hands up and say you were wrong. Next year we are going to use a new high definition blindfold and coins that only land on heads. Then it will be sunny. This is a pisser", he added
The Met Office has issued a revised forecast for the summer which predicts, in roughly equal amounts, both day and night length with times of darkness becoming increasing long in the autumn. It also predicts floods, burglary, rape and recession.
This follows the recent publication of statistics that show that spending on QANGOS such as the Met Office, has multiplied more than ten fold in the last five years.
