Written by Blazing Saddle

Saturday, 18 July 2009

image for Cillit Bang! - Just Cilly!
Cillit Bang! Powder Prior To Use In An Afghan IED

We have all been mystified by the Cillit Bang! TV commercials. We have all asked ourselves - why do I remember the words "Cillit Bang!?" The answer has been revealed in a consumers magazine report.

According to the report, normally only read by the aspirational middle class or by plebs in dentists' waiting rooms, Cillit Bang! has struck a chord with the TV watching masses.

"We are all used to being sucked-in by commercials whilst realising that they are selling us crap" comments Professor Mary-Bob Dallmellington - "and we can all therefore relate to the Cillit Bang! advertising.

"No-one questions the fact that the crap in the atomiser might as well be diluted yak urine - we all trot merrily along to Lidl and pay for the stuff".

Prof Dallmellington was not prepared to criticise Jif, AJax or Vim, explaining that the reporters had not been paid to comment on these.

Readers requiring hearing protection for use during Cillit Bang! commercials are asked to apply, on a postcard

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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