Written by Steddyeddy

Thursday, 16 July 2009

image for Government claims unemployment is good for swine flu
Bank chief executives in conference about their salaries

The government today said that the unemployment situation in the country is actually good for preventing a swine flu epidemic.

A spokesman from Downing Street, Faye Kekspenses, said that the recent policy of bailing out the banks who have had one lousy year after almost 15 great years of fleecing the public and lining their pockets, hasn't actually harmed the economy that much at all.

In fact, by causing unemployment to the normal, working men and women in the country, this will actually help stave off the potential flu pandemic.

Miss Kekspenses continued to say that thanks to the greed of the banks and the wonderful bonuses and pensions their unqualified chief executives continue to enjoy after the billions of pounds they have received in bail-outs, normal, honest working people with no bonuses and seven-figure pensions who have lost their jobs will be fully protected from contracting the flu.

The Health Secretary confirmed that by the winter, one in eight of the working population will have contracted swine flu. However, thanks to the economy having been ruined by the banks, up to 2½ million people could be unemployed by the winter, and because they wont be part of the working population, they are not likely to catch swine flu.

The Prime Minister is all set to take all the credit for this.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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