Written by Earl Grey

Saturday, 11 July 2009

image for Media In "Don't Panic About Media" Plea
DON'T PANIC

The British media today launched a plea for people not to panic about stories which they may see or hear in the media. The media insist that there is no need to panic. Headlines like "100,000 a day will die" and "the end of mankind is coming" are not to be taken literally. Dick Phillpot, spokesman for the Tabloid Editors Guild said "What they have to understand is that panic sells newspapers, but too much panic and people stop buying. we want them scared, but not scared shitless."

Fears that there may be thousands of deaths from swine flu have been created by the media, said the media earlier today. They insist that there is no need to panic. Yet.

Meanwhile, free today in your number 1 Scum, a facemask.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: swine flu




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