Ron Nasty, leader of the British National Party, called a press conference earlier today to emphatically prove that he is not a fat fascist.
Attended by many of his members, dressed in their now familiar tutus and matching swastikas, he addressed the media multitudes (Mike Barganhuntre from Exchange and Mart, Wilma Hedhertz from Drains and Drainage Monthly and Dai Tryin from the Welsh Daffodil Breeders' Monthly) to explain.
He claimed that he was becoming really fed up with being continually accused of being a fat fascist, and in a similar fashion to the British Legion asking him to stop wearing the red poppy, he was asking the media to just stop calling him a fat fascist. Period. No more. To desist.
"And it has nothing to do with the BNP giving fascists everywhere a bad name" he was quick to add.
Mr Nasty went on to explain, with both a PowerPoint and gun point presentation, in simple terms his justification for disagreeing with the media that he simply wasn't a fat fascist. Simple.
He showed a close-up of the label on the jacket he was wearing, which clearly indicated 42/44, followed by the label on the trousers he was wearing, which was 36/38 length 30 inches.
"Now how could that be fat? How could anyone in their tiny right-wing minds say I was fat? Eh?"
He went on to say that when it came to fat politicians, Cyril Smith could be considered rotund, or in the entertainment world, the actor Richard Griffiths could be considered un-thin, and even the nation's favourite, Dawn French, was not exactly thin.
He further questioned why the media should just pick on him and say he was fat.
He concluded that eating habits should be kept out of politics.