Shadik Nomar Malik may have used British taxpayers' money to have multiple offices, surgeries, hairdresser salons and suspicious massage parlors across the United Kingdom and around the world.
Shady Malik's name has appeared on more leases across the globe than Dick Cheney's undisclosed hiding places. British taxpayers have bankrolled SnM's multiple enterprises from Kensington Square doctors' offices to Liverpool strip joints.
"They don't call him 'Shaddy' for nothing!", commented MP Malik's first personal assistant. " He cheated on his wife, me and a variety of other lease holders including the revenue burdened good countryfolk of John Bull's island. Shadik had ofices in London, Wales, Jamaica and the british Antilles where his British Aunt Tillie behaved very badly to the entertainment of most of the island at Englanders' expense..."