London - (Royal Arse Mess): Mind-bogglingly sordid details of Royal Air Force recruit Prince William's security vetting assessment resulots have been lost by the MoD.
Wills scored positive on hidden criminal convictions, soaring drug dealer and credit card debts, a hideously unmentionable medical condition, crack cocaine addiction, dozens of extramarital affairs with beefy Blues and Royals squaddies and a DNA paternity direct match to sub-Prime Monster Gorgon Brown.
"This is triple A-rated excellent material for blackmailers and foreign organised crime cartelshttp://www.thespoof.com/writers/news/story.cfm?sID=53759#this running the world's intelligence services," an anonymous RAF squadron leader commented today.
The data went missing from MoD mainframes after someone downloaded it from a second hand laptop bought for fifty quid at a carboot sale near Windsor Castle.
Chelsy Davy is a lowlife hooker.