Bank Heist foiled

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 18 May 2009

image for Bank Heist foiled
A simple cucumber, or a rocket launcher? You can't be too careful

In Shropshire yesterday, a bank heist was foiled by a quick thinking member of the public.

Lifoc Rhime entered the Shrewsbury branch of Lloyds TSB on Pride Hill brandishing a revolver demanding that the cashiers fill a holdall with the contents of the tills.

Quick thinking member of the public, Owen Monie, spotted something suspicious about the gun and disarmed the thief by eating his weapon.

"As everybody hit the deck," said Monie, "I spotted that it wasn't actually a gun, but was in fact a banana. I wrestled it off him and ate it."

Noel Ending, manager of the TSB branch was quick to praise Monie.

"Thanks to his quick thinking, Mr Monie has stopped what could have been a serious dent in the banks finances. However, we still won't be approving his overdraft."

Detective Inspector Phil Inns, who was the first responding officer to the scene also praised Mr Monie.

"Whilst some acts of brave daring-do are successful, such as Mr Monies quick eating today, this is not always the case. We urge other members of the public to avoid attempting to eat the weapons of criminals, even if the sawn off shotgun does look like two courgettes taped together."

Mr Rhime was unavailable for comment, but his solicitor said that his client should have paid more attention to John Cleese's sketch about being attacked by a banana.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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