Paedophiles to be deported from Earth

Funny story written by Bluebella

Thursday, 14 May 2009

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Bye bye and good riddance

Soham, England - Child protection agencies have come up with a new scheme to stop paedophilia for good.

All paedos, once committed of an offence, will be deported from the UK. And, since no other country will take them in, they will be asked to leave the Earth.

The proposed law was put to the House of Commons yesterday and received an astounding majority vote. The deportation law includes sex offenders who have already been convicted, have done their time and even those who are still serving their sentence and wasting taxpayers money keeping them alive, such as murderous beast Ian Huntley.

While it is widely believed that people have been exploring space travel for many decades now so they can find a new planet for all humans once we have exhausted the Earth's resources, the truth has finally been exposed: space explorers are looking for another planet to dump unwanted evil predators.

The child protection agency spokesperson, Mariah McKey, was asked how the paedos were going to survive on Mars without an atmosphere and such extreme temperatures. McKey replied that they had not thought about that, but may discuss it after the paedos have been blasted off into space. "If the rocket ship was to accidentally be pointed at the sun and blasted off in that direction, that would be an accident of course, but you know, shit happens."

The new law is proving so popular in the UK that other countries have also proposed the scheme, and by other countries I mean all of them.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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