Home Secretary, Jaquie Smith has revealed that her husband has bought a new pet in an attempt to take his mind off watching porn and then claiming the cost on MP's expenses.
Asked to comment as she visited a holiday camp for rapists and murderers, she stated that her husband had considered many options before settling on a Chimpanzee. 'I haven't seen the Chimpanzee yet but I spoke to my husband yesterday by phone and he tells me the Chimp is very naughty and needs frequent disciplining' She continued by saying that consequently her husband was now spending a lot of time 'spanking the monkey'.
Our sources revealed the Chimpamzee came from Quixotic Pets of Stourbridge and cost a whopping 3000 pounds. No doubt Ms Smith will be claiming for this shortly.
