Daydreamers 5x More Likely To Be Run Over

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Friday, 8 May 2009

image for Daydreamers 5x More Likely To Be Run Over
Road Ragers In Hot Pursuit Of Pedestrians.

After 11 long years of research, scientists finally announced today that people who didn't pay attention to what they were doing, such as daydreamers, neurotics, drunkards, those high ON DRUGS, and people using iPods were 5 times more likely to be ploughed into perpetual oblivion by a speeding motor vehicle as they cross the nation's roads.

"It's basically an awareness thing," Prof Barney Fudge of Southampton University told us. "People who don't watch what they're doing tend to wander into the road and get splattered by fast moving traffic. It can get very messy. Crushed heads. Open fractures. Spurting blood and what have you. It can be most disturbing for other pedestrians and road users. Nobody wants to witness scenes of utter carnage before sitting down to a nice meal."

However, we here at TheSpoof.com lay the blame fairly and squarely on the shoulders of multi-channel TV. There aren't the public safety films around like there used to be, the Green Cross Code Man was laid off years ago, and some particularly insane drivers are actually trying to run down as many pedestrians as they can, because they've been playing violent video games.

So: "Be careful out there."

TheSpoof.com, doing our bit for public safety.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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