The once plentiful supply of British eels and their penchant for taking refuge in hovercraft seems to be tragically coming to an unexpected end.
England's rivers once ran so heavy with fresh water eel that even a non Christian could walk on water across the slimy backs of the teeming schools of water snakes. UK poor feasted on the bont carcasses of the river rattlers to avoid starvation caused by both capitalist and socialist Parliaments.
Those days appear to be over as the eel population of John Bull's Island waterways are frighteningly free of the slimy serpents. this tragic development has even affected the infamous comic troupe of Monty Python's Flying Circus. The hovercraft in which the clowns travelled around the world of comedy and high finance had always been full of eels but now that the sea snakes are becoming extinct the Circusteers have nothing to eat.
One Pythoner anonymously explained that since the BBC paid only peanuts, the troupe needed the eels for basic sustenance. Pretty soon, the Monty Pythoners will die of lack of protein and we will all be brought out with the dead.
