Wednesday, 29 April 2009

image for Jade Swine Flu Claims Denied
A scientist yesterday

Max Cash rushed to deny claims that scientists have approached him for 'permission' to exhume Jade's body, and that no-one, has suggested that swine flu was the real cause of Jade's sad death.

He added that everytime one of his world mega stars dies, or has a breakdown, there is always a conspiracy theory, just like with Elvis, Marilyn, JFK and Bambi.

Jades widower Jack, was unavailable for comment, as he's in prison at the moment trying to beat his best time on the mushroom gorge circuit in Mariokart, on the Nintendo Wii.

Max has confirmed that jack will express his outrage, through the medium of 'heat,''star' and 'now' magazines, accompanied with a selection of deep meaningful, thoughtful looking photos, holding candles etc, with a Stephen Gately from Boyzone, innocent type facial expression, as soon as hes served his time for twatting someone round the head with a golf club and threatening to stab a taxi driver.

Why scientists are linking jades death to the recent swine flu outbreak is unclear, although there were reports of a coach load of Mexicans from the pig farming industry, on a team building exercise in the car park of the church, during the funeral.

As it stands, the pubic still don't know why the search to find the cause of this outbreak has shifted from Mexico, to Essex.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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