Written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 26 April 2009

image for Wombles Incite Refugee Camp Disturbances
The Jungle Before The Wombles Got To Work

Calais, France - Following the closure of the Sangatte refugee camp, eastern European economic migrants set up a squatter camp in woodlands close to the French port.

However, riot police moved in this week in a bid to clear the camp, known locally as The Jungle, disrupting the migrants' chances of passage to the promised land and sparking widespread indignation among French left wingers.

"We want go to UK. Is promised land," a refugee told us. "Gendarmes come and smash up shacks in Jungle. Witless French bastards. We no even want to stay in France. I want go to Kirkby, join cousins. Friend Kristof want go to Coventry."

We were curious as to what had sparked the sudden confrontation after seemingly peaceful co-existence going back months.

"Bladdy wombles innit," Pavel told us. "Bastard furry things with the long snout. They come poke around camp picking up trash and wombling free. They say we untidy bastards, and must keep jungle litter free. They moan at us and call us racist names. Very aggressive. Some of younger ones, they no take this. They hit back. Then gendarmes come."

"No litter bins here," another migrant told us. "What we supposed to do?"

"Fascist Womble Uncle Bulgaria bastards! Make big trouble for us! Eddie Stobart, he good man! Run articulated lorry taxi service for migrant peoples!" another added.

Reports that the Wombles were agitators in the pay of the British government were strenuously denied by Gordon Brown and Uncle Bulgaria.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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