Grieving Coronation Street Character is Pregnant

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

image for Grieving Coronation Street Character is Pregnant
Jack Duckworth's knee - swollen from the pregnancy

Jack Duckworth, who is still grieving the loss of his wife Vera since her death early last year, has announced he is expecting a child. He is refusing to name the father, but has confirmed that it is 'someone who lives close by'.

It was all something of a shock to viewers who had tuned in as usual, and were confronted with the news in the latest episode. The general consensus was that Jack was probably too old to have a baby, prompting speculation that fertility treatment may have been involved.

Jack says he is only four months pregnant, but he says he knows it is beginning to show so he wanted to get the news out in the open. He insists that the news is not a sleight to Vera's memory. "Vera and I had a wonderful life together," he said, "and we were blessed with a child and grandchildren. But Vera was Terry's mother and this is my chance to give birth to a child myself. What fictitious character wouldn't jump at the chance?"

Meanwhile, Eastenders has announced a storyline which has a hermaphroditic clone of Alfie Moon giving birth to a chimera baby that is comprised of DNA strands extracted from Ian Beale's saliva and Tracy the Barmaid's apron.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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